Category: Humor

The Democratic Mile High Hug-fest Redux

Posted on by TL

As Blagoland continues to implode, let’s take a trip back in time and watch the Democrats in Denver this past summer.  Congressman Jesse Jackson Jr. started it as he embraced then State Senate Majority Leader now Congresswoman-elect Debbie Halvorson.

Jackson was sincerely moved by the hug with Mayor Richard Daley.

But Speaker Michael J. Madigan and Gov. Blagojevich?  According to a source who was in the room at the time, as they embraced, Blago whispered to Madigan, “I knew he was going to do this!”  And they parted as quickly as they came together.

Jesse’s a good guy. I’m not a fan of his Annual Roast — the humor is far too rancid for my tastes any more — but, in all fairness, Jesse does not start the bad jokes. That comes from all the sauced pols tryining to do stand-up.

But Congressman Jackson has always been there for us in the South Suburbs of Chicagoland when we needed him.

Looking back at all those hugs now, well, wow…. What a difference a few months makes!

Olbermann on the Bush Shoe Toss

Posted on by TL

Visit msnbc.com for Breaking News, World News, and News about the Economy

Hilarious all around. Nice job, Keith. Enjoy.

The Buccaneer Stops Here – The Daily Show Does Pirates

Posted on by TL

I guess I’m just in need of more humor these days. I haven’t done a ton of writing lately, but I have done a lot of laughing.

And this stuff is just awesomely hilarious.

The Old Man and the Marine

Posted on by TL

Via email from our friend Helen:

One sunny day in 2009 an old man approached the White House from across Pennsylvania Avenue, where he’d been sitting on a park bench. He spoke to the U.S. Marine standing guard and said, ‘I would like to go in and meet with President Bush.’

The Marine looked at the man and said, ‘Sir, Mr. Bush is no longer president and no longer resides here.’

The old man said, ‘Okay’ and walked away.

The following day, the same man approached the White House and said to the same Marine, ‘I would like to go in and meet with President Bush.’

The Marine again told the man, ‘Sir, as I said yesterday, Mr. Bush is no longer president and no longer resides here.’

The man thanked him and, again, just walked away.

The third day, the same man approached the White House and spoke to the very same Marine, saying ‘I would like to go in and meet with President Bush.’

The Marine, understandably agitated at this point, looked at the man and said, ‘Sir, this is the third day in a row you have been here asking to speak to Mr. Bush. I’ve told you already that Mr. Bush is no longer the president and no longer resides here. Don’t you understand?’

The old man looked at the Marine and said, ‘Oh, I understand. I just love hearing it.’

The Marine snapped to attention, saluted, and said, ‘See you tomorrow.’

January 20, 2009 still seems like a dream.  I’ll be weeping as the new president takes the oath of office.

I’m putting a counter on Turning Left.

Does Anyone Legislate in Springfield? Carol Marin and ‘Shrooms

Posted on by TL

Writing for the Sun-Times, Carol Marin is calling for true change in Springfield.  She’s calling for ‘Shrooms to rise up, come out of the dark, and, well, legislate.

That would be refreshing.

What is a ‘Shroom?

“‘Shrooms” — short for “mushrooms” — is code in Springfield for rank-and-file lawmakers who, thanks to the iron grip of their leadership, are irrelevant to critical decision-making. The term was coined decades ago when a House member stuck a sign on his desk offering a bleak commentary: “Welcome to the land of the mushrooms where they keep you in the dark and pile s – – – on your head.”

Whether it’s the all-powerful speaker of the House, Michael Madigan, or the I’m-the-Boss-Now Senate President Emil Jones, the rules that govern each chamber are meant to clip the wings of the rank and file and keep the leadership in complete control. Without a leader’s OK, forget about getting a bill out of committee, a prime committee assignment, a leadership post or heaven help you, forget about financial help come Election Day.

No legislation sees the light of day unless the bosses say so.  ‘Shrooms can go back to the dark and vote with the leadership.

The inactivity in Springfield the past few years impresses no one.  Senator Emil Jones makes sure his son gets his senate seat, Blago the Intransigent listens to no one, and Speaker Michael Madigan controls the Illinois House with an iron fist:

Jones, whose party returned to the majority after the tyrannical reign of his Republican predecessor, Pate Philip, was elected president in 2002. Allied with the incoming governor, Rod Blagojevich, the two united against Madigan and there’s been god-awful legislative gridlock ever since.

Look, we’ve been waiting for school funding reform in Illinois for decades.  Illinois still places second to last in the nation in funding for education.  Instead, we get lawmakers eminently impressed with themselves and their ability to win an election, and no one working for real change any more.  The Illinois Legislature is broken.

I can barely stomach attending fundraisers for legislators any more.  Many times I’ve watched representatives from Springfield come to Matteson, IL, fall all over themselves for their candidate, telling us why we should give a care for Rep. ‘Shroom, that we should give up weekends and week nights to campaign for Rep. ‘Shroom.

It’s time for reform.  Yes, it’s time for the ‘Shrooms, “futile fungi,” as Marin calls them, to rise up.  Illinois needs a Legislature full of legislators, not glorified Altar Boys and Girls serving the Magisterium.

Unless these ‘Shrooms are really only interested in re-election.  Then they deserve to wallow in s—, and we deserve the same for re-electing them.

The Palin Chronicles: Blame Bush for the Loss

Posted on by TL

Sarah Palin is determined to stay in the news, and FOX News is happy to provide the diva with a platform.

From the Associated Press:

Alaska Gov. Sarah Palin, amid speculation she’ll run for president in four years, blamed Bush administration policies for the defeat last week of the GOP ticket and prayed she wouldn’t miss “an open door” for her next political opportunity.

“I’m like, OK, God, if there is an open door for me somewhere, this is what I always pray, I’m like, don’t let me miss the open door,” Palin said in an interview with Fox News on Monday. “And if there is an open door in ’12 or four years later, and if it is something that is going to be good for my family, for my state, for my nation, an opportunity for me, then I’ll plow through that door.”

In a wide-ranging interview with Fox’s Greta Van Susteren, Palin says she neither wanted nor asked for the $150,000-plus wardrobe the Republican Party bankrolled, and thought the issue was an odd one at the end of the campaign, considering “what is going on in the world today.”

“I did not order the clothes. Did not ask for the clothes,” Palin said. “I would have been happy to have worn my own clothes from Day One. But that is kind of an odd issue, an odd campaign issue as things were wrapping up there as to who ordered what and who demanded what.”

“It’s amazing that we did as well as we did,” Palin, who was Sen. John McCain’s running mate, said of the election in a separate interview with the Anchorage Daily News.

“I think the Republican ticket represented too much of the status quo, too much of what had gone on in these last eight years, that Americans were kind of shaking their heads like going, wait a minute, how did we run up a $10 trillion debt in a Republican administration? How have there been blunders with war strategy under a Republican administration? If we’re talking change, we want to get far away from what it was that the present administration represented and that is to a great degree what the Republican Party at the time had been representing,” Palin said in a story published Sunday.

My favorite part of the story is a little further down and fills us in on Palin’s activities this past weekend, just days past the election:

Her father, Chuck Heath, said Palin spent part of the weekend going through her clothing to determine what belongs to the Republican Party.

“She was just frantically … trying to sort stuff out,” Heath said. “That’s the problem, you know, the kids lose underwear, and everything has to be accounted for. Nothing goes right back to normal,”

So the RNC bought high-end underwear for the Palins as well?

Honestly, have we ever seen anything like this in American history?  Don’t tell me we’re employing a double standard, unfairly judging the female candidate.  Sarah brought this all on herself when she bought and bought and bought, or looked the other way while others did so.

When historians analyze this election 50 years hence, will they be able to read the Palin chapter with a straight face?