The Late Late Show Theme Song
Written by Craig Ferguson
It’s hard to stay up
It’s been a long, Long Day
And you got the sandman at the door
But hang on, leave the TV on
And let’s do it anyway
It’s ok
You can always sleep through work tomorrow, OK?
Hey hey
Tomorrow’s just your future yesterday
Listen to the LLS theme song at CBS.com.
Love the guy.
The mouth that won’t stop gabbing is starting another media blitz as the Summer of Blagojevich continues.
Beginning a weekend media blitz, Rod Blagojevich said this morning he will not take any plea deal from prosecutors, accused them of trying to criminalize political horse-trading and emphasized repeatedly that he had not been convicted of any of the corruption charges against him.
And he said the lone jury holdout against convicting him on major corruption counts confirmed his faith in God.
"I’ve always had a deep and abiding faith in God," he said on the "Today" show. "And when I look at that, it just confirms ‘Praise God.’ And I certainly thank her for her good judgment.
"If we put on a defense, I think we probably would have been acquitted" on every count, he added.
He continued to insist he had done nothing wrong, saying prosecutors had captured him on tape only discussing "possibilities" with lawyers and political advisers. "Political horse-trading …. this is what they are trying to criminalize," he said.He accused prosecutors of hypocrisy, saying they frequently make deals with convicted felons. "The very thing they charge me with, they should charge themselves with," he said.
WASHINGTON – Several days after Michele Bachmann won approval for The Tea Party Caucus in the House, Nancy Pelosi has announced she will join.
Speaker of the House Pelosi made this statement, “Even though there are many cross-dressers, nail-biters and bedwetters in this Republican caucus, I think by joining I can finally get them to think straight.” She explained that Republicans have a long history of closeted sexual behavior and the “best way to win over Tea Party members is to go their caucus meetings, tie them up and beat them. That’s what they want, and that’s what I’ll give them. Really, it’s very similar to the way I work with every other Caucus.”
When Jake Tapper of ABC asked her why she was dressed as dominatrix for the press conference, Pelosi said “Oh, I just forgot to change. I’m tired of being subtle and many Republican House members love it, particularly Representative Pete Sessions of Texas… he’s a bad boy, a really bad boy.” Pelosi snapped her whip toward Rep. Sessions, who then barked like a dog.
This cracked me up. And there’s more.
My favorite line comes from Rep. Gary G. Miller of California.
Enjoy.
I haven’t written much about the trial of Rod Blagojevich. Court proceedings bore me, and we always learn far too much about the alleged offender than we ever wanted to know.
A $5,000 Oxxford suit, $1,400 spent on Geneva Custom Shirts, $63 in Hanro underwear and $214 in ties — and it was all bought in a matter of days.
The Blagojevich household spent more on fine clothing than on their mortgage, child care, travel or private schools in the years that Rod Blagojevich served as governor, testimony at his trial today showed.
Jurors in the ex-governor’s trial were shown credit card bill after credit card bill where Rod Blagojevich dropped hundreds of dollars at a time on ties at Saks Fifth Avenue and thousands of dollars on high-end, custom Oxxford suits, not to mention pricey Allen Edmonds footwear.
The grand total from 2002-2008: more than $400,000 on clothes.
Several thousand dollars was spent in November of 2003 on Maximilian Furs.
The line of the day belongs to Blago’s brother, Rob:
On his way out of court, Rod’s brother, Robert, who is also on trial, stopped and smiled.
“For the record, I buy my ties on sale,” he said.
That does it for me. In addition to other categories, I am now filing the Trial of Rod Blagojevich under “Entertainment.”
Oy.
Here you go: the terrifying, riveting video all Jonas Brothers fans have been waiting for. Yes, this heart-stopping moment is brought to you by AOL News.
No, this isn’t ‘Love in an Elevator.’ This is the Jonas Brothers, after all.
Enjoy these meaningless few minutes as you watch the brothers elude danger, certain death…, well, none of that, really. If you’re here, just enjoy.
Thanks to Cait for pointing us to this video.
We look for humor where we can find it.
Thanks, Cait.
In an attempt to convince an anxious populace that his legislative agenda is working and that everything is going to be all right, President Barack Obama embarked on a 50-state, 30,000-town tour Monday during which he plans to gaze assuredly into the eyes of each American citizen, one at a time.
"I know a lot of people out there are nervous. They’re worried about unemployment, the oil spill in the Gulf, and whether or not I am making the right choices in Washington," Obama said during a rally at Rockland District High School. "To those Americans, I offer you this inspiring, confident gaze."
Obama then stepped down from his podium, walked into the 2,000-person audience, and peered comfortingly into each person’s eyes. After taking 45 minutes to methodically work his way from the front row all the way to the balcony, and punctuating each look with a gentle pat on the shoulder, Obama returned to the stage, collected himself, and addressed the silent group before him.
"There," he said. "All better."
In their announcement of the "2010 Eye-to-Eye Tour," White House officials said that Obama will first spend two weeks making eye contact with the 55 million residents of the densely populated Northeastern states, looking into their eyes and, if necessary, offering them an encouraging head nod. Obama will then continue down the East Coast before taking on the tour’s biggest challenge: gazing with confidence into the eyes of a hostile Southern electorate that largely rejects his policies.
A blast from the past, courtesy a friend (and real author) on Facebook.
Enjoy the Fokker.