Shouting matches. Our top people in Iraq are negotiating via shouting matches.

This from the Telegraph in the UK:

Relations between the top United States general in Iraq and Nouri al-Maliki, the country’s prime minister, are so bad that the Iraqi leader made a direct appeal for his removal to President George W Bush.

Although the call was rejected, aides to both men admit that Mr Maliki and Gen David Petraeus engage in frequent stand-up shouting matches, differing particularly over the US general’s moves to arm Sunni tribesmen to fight al-Qa’eda.

Apparently President Bush did intervene on at least one occasion. But, instead of telling Gen. Petraeus to watch himself, he warned Prime Minister Maliki to “calm down”.

One Iraqi source said Mr Maliki used a video conference with Mr Bush to call for the general’s signature strategy to be scrapped. “He told Bush that if Petraeus continues, he would arm Shia militias,” said the official. “Bush told Maliki to calm down.”

“Calm Down”

Yes, of course, “calm down.” Doesn’t Maliki have his own Crawford? Can’t he run to a ranch somewhere outside of Baghdad when things get rough? Has the President of the United States not yet advised Maliki to spend most of his term in office somewhere else, out of his office? Why didn’t Maliki think of that sooner? What a fool he’s been? “Calm down.” It’s so simple – the answer to a national crisis.

Maliki should follow the President’s advice. He should calm down. Better yet, he should declare war on a nation he doesn’t like. A small nation whose people he can easily dominate. Maybe he should just go after Qatar. Then, the Iraqi people would worry less about their own problems, and rally around the Iraqi flag as their soldiers march into this new country, welcomed as liberators and freedom fighters. Maliki could create a world-wide coalition to defeat this enemy.

And financing’s not a worry. The United States will just send more money so the Iraqi’s do not suffer an inordinate burden. After all, Maliki would not want to get tagged as the first leader since Saddam to actually require that Iraqi’s pay for their own college education! No, the United States will continue to pour in more money, and now that Saudi Arabia is on our side, Maliki would have nothing to worry about.

That’s the solution: Maliki should attack Qatar, take the Iraqi’s minds off their problems, Uncle Sam can finance it, and we can all, finally, “calm down.”